The title of this blog stems from a line in point number two in a previous blog, “Should You Ask Her on A Date? Do These 3 Things First”.
In this piece, I brought up the fact that our “better halves” don’t care whether you’re spending old money from back in ’04, or the last $30 dollars from the paycheck you just got a week ago, you aren’t going to be appreciated for it.
The line begged the question, from a man’s perspective: ‘what is the payoff?’ Unless you’re a woman’s natural attraction, you are fighting an uphill battle to show off your value, and what you bring to the table. Women have no problem ‘growing into’ a man that she initially wasn’t interested in. She gets all the benefits of a ‘trial period’, if it doesn’t work out, ole well. Even taking this a step forward, the institution of marriage is not advantageous to men, as you stand to lose a lot more than you gain (e.g. alimony, child support, etc.)
The concept is even biblical, “Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for”.
Men you were put on this Earth to take crap, and jump through hoops at the prospect of calling a woman “wife”.
I know whenever when I was dealing with a girl in the beginning stage, and I would get curved, or texts/calls would get ignored, one thing I would tell myself to calm down is:
“Well, you don’t get on your knees and pray to God every night, and he doesn’t delete your number”.
(Just FYI: We look at our phones like a 100 times a day. Attempt to reach out twice, (one time per day for two days) and if you hear nothing back. . .dump the number; too many people out here for that)
I am not trying to make this a religious piece; moreover, I am just trying to illustrate to you, regardless of your background, the labeled role society has placed on men.
Men, you are supposed to play the role of the patient, steadfast man, just as God is patient, steadfast and ever-loving
This blog is just here to teach you how to be smarter about going about it 🙃 .
Given the dreadful picture I just painted, I’m sure you are asking “Well, why should I take on that role? What do you I get out of it?
The biggest thing men get out of marriage is extending your lineage. Your sons and daughters carry on your blood, your name, and the legacy that you laid down during your time on this planet.
The content Inner Reign provides, is here to add value to my fellow brethren, and aid in the creation of a better society. Understand the role society has placed on you, become upper echelon in that realm, know how to manuever in that space and create your own ideal world. This would include choosing the right person to extend your lineage with.
It would be most ideal to find this super compatible person, that likes everything you do, and waits on your every beckoning call; however, this is unrealistic. It takes years to know yourself, and what you like, and sometimes those attributes may change, but I strongly encourage you to take the time to find a few things you value the most (loyalty, affection, family, financial discipline, friendship, etc.) and find someone who values those things as well.
The landscape of dating in 2017 is changing and I think it’s headed in the right direction; people are starting to value the solitude of being alone in lieu of the suffering that comes with being in a terrible relationship. Night game isn’t where it once was, and people are starting to find their mate, just doing the things they like to do on their own.
We’re valuing companionship again, but the path to creating your ideal world, thriving within it in, is understanding how society identifies your role and adapting accordingly.
Weather Your Storm, Maintain Inner Reign -E
4 responses to “Your Efforts Will Never Be Fully Appreciated”
While no one can expect to be 100% ready for marriage. I would encourage any man that feels this way about matrimony to do himself and patential mate a favor and “just say no”. We all know that committing to another flawed human being is one of the hardest things you can do. But when you do it right, I believe that it can be one of life’s greatest blessings, because it allows you to experience unconditional love. If not for love why bother? The legacy that you are looking for will be tainted because of your inability to love your wife and present the kind of healthy household in which your children would thrive. If marriage is truly burdensome don’t make a halfhearted commitment to a woman is made for love. Instead involve yourself in relationships that provide you with casual sex and none of the requisite strings attached.
In my haste, I failed to proofread.
While no one can expect to be 100% ready for marriage. I would encourage any man that feels this way about matrimony to do himself and potential mate a favor and “just say no”. We all know that committing to another flawed human being is one of the hardest things you can do. But when you do it right, I believe that it can be one of life’s greatest blessings, because it allows you to experience unconditional love. If not for love why bother? The legacy that you are looking for will be tainted because of your inability to love your wife and present the kind of healthy household in which your children would thrive. If marriage is truly burdensome don’t make a halfhearted commitment to a woman who is made for love. Instead involve yourself in relationships that provide you with casual sex and none of the requisite strings attached.
You make some very valid points here and I agree with you. I think until a man 1.) finds himself in a place where he is able to bestow unconditional love onto a woman 2.) locates said woman, he should stay to himself. Acts performed for a partner not in the realm of unconditional love, would be internalized within the man as burdensome and a chore.
If I could pontificate for just a moment. I think what needs to be addressed is the notion of loving someone unconditionally or “as Christ loved the church” and what that really means. These ideas came from the Bible so we must go to the source. It is not only difficult to do, it is impossible-without first knowing Gods love for you. I may run the risk of appearing too spiritual BUT I know the unconditional love that I will share with my spouse, will be an overflow of the love that God is already bestowing upon me. That’s the only way it becomes feasible in my eyes. Love is one part an act of the will and one part Gods will acting through you. Just like hurt people hurt people, loved people love people.