The Stand-Alone Theory

The Central Intercollegiate Athletic Association (CIAA) tournament has been coming to Charlotte every February for the past decade or so.

The CIAA is composed of Division II National Collegiate Athletic Association (NCAA) schools, that are also historically African-American institutions; these universities come to Charlotte every year for their men’s and women’s basketball teams to compete for the conference championship.

Along with the tournament games, there are a slew of day parties, after parties, and celebrity events that people travel from up and down the east coast to attend.

Instead of spending all my time chasing tail, I decided to attend the CIAA Blogging Beauties Network Pop Up event.  I knew blogging was something I always wanted to get in to, in order to branch off into other ventures I was interested in.  Although this was an event catered to women, and the topics they were blogging about were of a different scope than mine, I wanted to go to pick the brains of those who had been hitting that “PUBLISH” button for a while and had been successful; moreover, learn from those who were in the infancy stages like myself, just getting their brand off the ground.

It was time well spent, and extremely informative.  I was the only male in attendance (which is always a plus), there were women of all age ranges selling clothes, pushing their brands and blogs on topics ranging from natural hair, fashion, nutrition, etc.

After jotting down some notes and exchanging business cards with some folks, there was a panel, where women in the media industry detailed their beginnings, how they progressed, and pushed to where they are currently.  Most talked about the belief in your content, the importance of networking, getting your finances in order; however, one panelist stated one way to reach your goals, is to sell your parents on the idea of your blog, and even living with them, as that was what she was doing.

The inner me made the Childish Gambino meme face:


I wanted to bust out laughing, just because, that’s an option more so, when you’re fresh out of college, not now. . . established in your 30s.

I did some research because my first thought was that, this was more so an option for women than men. I say that because in my personal experiences, women were more prone to additional help once they reached adulthood than men.  I’ve ran into many women that were still on their parent’s car insurance, still received birthday presents, and could return home whenever they please, should things go awry.

Per an article written in 2016 by the Pew Research Center for Social & Demographic Trends, the most common living arrangement of individuals between in the age of 18-to-34, is living at home with mom and/or dad.  Moreover, it is men (35%), not women (29%) who are returning home often.



I can’t help but look at this as some type of crutch, to be honest.

Now if it was a group of men or women who wanted to share responsibilities in a household, I would have no problem with this; but I think, especially for men, we are stifling our creative spirit and our adaptability.

My theory is that as men, we are the purest form of survivalist, and I wholeheartedly believe that in the direst of situations, we can reach the very depth of our potential.

Where is our resolve? The willingness to pursue a dream, and not accept failure?  To challenge ourselves to do whatever it takes for the lineage, our society.

We’ve grown soft. Plain and simple

There is a big difference in effort when you know you have someone to fall back on, and knowing you’re the only one you can rely on.

Imagine the mindset you would have, overcoming that level of despair.  There are countless stories of individuals that have come from the mud, (Steve Harvey, Tyler Perry, Sylvester Stallone, Chris Gardner and many other successful individuals at one point endured homelessness) and relied on nothing else but their own grit, perseverance, and determination to overcome their circumstances.

The key to success is wanting it more than anything, and anyone else.  What are you willing to go through to achieve greatness? How much are you willing to endure? Willing to suffer for?

Our problem is the men of this generation aren’t willing to forgo the sweetness of short-term pleasures for a few years, that is needed to achieve long-term greatness.

Stand-alone and achieve greatness, or at the very least, share responsibilities with other high value men.


Weather Your Storm, Maintain Inner Reign -E

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