Many of the blog posts I have written on Inner Reign, related to game, have come from the point-of-view of a single man.
I’m sure many of you have been wondering, “well Eric, that’s all swell, but I’ve been in a relationship or marriage for a while, how does the concept of game help me now?”
Well, let me assure you, the elements of game are still just as prevalent as they were when you were single. One of the mistakes that I have made in my previous relationships, is that I felt like, once I got the person that I wanted, I would lower the effort levels. The grass is greener where you water it: single, relationship, marriage . . .doesn’t matter, effort is needed to attract and maintain the interest of someone for the long haul.
Also, I would challenge you to take advantage of this opportunity, because all the fluff and BS is over with. Obviously, there is something between the two of you, as you and your partner chose each other; consider this as a means to maintain the spice and flare. So, without further ado:
Maintain the Frame
This is so vital in the early stages of a relationship, because once a certain precedent has been set, it can be very difficult to correct in the later stages of a relationship or marriage.
Because let’s face it, if you were a doormat when you were friends, and you were a doormat during the relationship, chances are you’re going to continue to be a doormat in marriage as well.
It takes a certain sense of cunning, and guile of setting parameters, without giving off the vibe that you are overly controlling. The best way to do that would be to be a good influence through communication. Be open to communication but respectfully, firmly, and decisively make decisions. Women have no problem listening man who can maintain frame and make good decisions in a dire situation or when a monumental stage of life creeps up.
Pick Your Battles
I have told many people this phrase, many times:
“The problem with starting an argument is this: If you bring up too many issues, you look like a nag; if you don’t bring it up until later, you get hit with ‘well why didn’t you tell me sooner?’; and if you don’t bring it up at all, it goes unappreciated that you didn’t bring it up. It’s a lose-lose-lose.”
My best advice would be to strategically pick your battles. Nobody is going to be perfect. The major sticking points, you’d like your partner to be mindful of, I would respectfully point those out, and hopeful they adhere to your wishes (hence why maintaining frame is so important).
Either they make a conscious effort to take your feelings into account, or you just grow to love each other beyond the flaw anyway.
The Push Pull Effect
Women want to know their man, and know that he will be consistent.
However, that doesn’t mean, be predictable, redundant, and boring.
Be attentive, and do something unexpected. . .and no I’m not talking about the whole candy, and flowers bit.
Maybe she does a chore consistently, that you abhor doing. Do a couple of those for a week or two but don’t ask for anything in return. It’ll throw her all the way for a loop.
If you’re not overly affectionate generally, jump all over her this week. If you are generally affectionate; ignore her physically, but tend to her in other ways. Make it a game, make It fun. These concepts are very similar to the tactics of marketing. “Bring your product to the customer” (Push), “Make the customer seek you” (Pull).
The opposite action brings a person closer if executed correctly.
You may not be very good at doing these things at first, just stick to it. Game is life, and life is game. It is unavoidable, so it’s best to just embrace the challenge and do your best, and I guarantee your relationship/marriage will always feel like the beginning stages.
Weather Your Storm, Maintain Inner Reign -E