Entering Another World
When I got married, I was 26 years old; my wife at the time, from Zaire (now the Democratic Republic of the Congo) was 33.
I’ll be the first to say. . . I took it for granted.
I won’t go into great detail, but I brought up the same issues most Americans bring up when the ships start to sink:
My wife at the time, wasn’t concerned with these struggles, because like many citizens who grew up outside of the U.S., struggle was all she knew.
You see I give a lot of credit to immigrants that come to the West; they cling to their morals, to their values, to their family. Struggle is a mere inconvenience to them, because in the direst of situations, they clung to what was most important: each other.
When times became tough, I wanted out. Thinking everyone else was going to be like her. . .
Thinking when I entered back into the dating world, I would be in an environment where people valued one another.
Family was more than just a word.
Labels given to significant others MEANT something.
I give people the same response when I talk about my transition from marriage to the single life.
“The marriage ending was just the first crack; It was the dating scene that followed that broke me.”
Deep down, all of you know I’m right. The landscape of dating in this era is SICKENING.
Side women and men are glorified.
It’s not enough that you are fighting against the ever-dissipating interest of the of person you are trying to swoon.
You’re competing with every neighborhood mechanic, weed connect, tax preparer, and ex that trying to get back in the picture.
The Landscape Begs the Question . . .
Is the western world broken?
Have we become so desensitized, that the bonds that once held us so firmly together are meaningless?
I remember an ending quote from Joe Budden’s song “Love, I’m Good”, where the woman on the song says:
“Maybe we’ll keep fucking each other, until we finally figure it out”.
I have written in-depth about the various reasons for why the division between men and women is greater than it’s ever been, especially among African Americans.
The problem lies in the attention we continue to give to the illusions of what we think success is.
The thing that makes the Western World so great, has in turn became our most critical weakness.
We strive to be exceptional, to put ourselves in the most optimal position with the world being the opposition.
The problem is the mentality has crept into how we conduct ourselves in relationships.
We don’t hold on to the best person anymore.
Just the best situation.
That is our society today.
In the past I may have been unduly critical of women based on my past experiences, but in this blog, I want to point the finger at myself as well. I am not a saint.
I longer give people the benefit of the doubt because I know I’ve been conniving, I’ve played duplicitous games.
I have preached in this blog countless times, urging men to band together and flip the script on relationships.
And I know that’s going to be a tough ask; behavioral changes don’t come easy.
And I know given the landscape, you just want to give in because, everyone else is playing the game a certain way, why shouldn’t you?
You shouldn’t because WE ARE BETTER than this.
Those of High Value DESERVES BETTER.
You work too hard just to have multiple people reap the benefits while not really being there for you.
What happened to knowing where you stand with someone?
What happened to having someone standing near you on your sick-bed?
When did it get this bad?
Can we ever be truly happy in a relationship? In a marriage?
The Western World is known for its will to strive for the very best.
But did we take it too far?
Weather Your Storm, Maintain Inner Reign -E