The Coldness That Comes with Being A Man

There’s a saying that, “In every joke lies a grain of truth.”

Where better to place the truth about the difficulties men are faced with, than a stand-up special.

Unless you’ve been living under a rock, you can’t help but notice the million of dollars Netflix has poured into stand-up specials of A-List comedians.

I’ve thoroughly enjoyed seeing comedians I grew up watching, being able to express their creativity in a craft that brings so much joy to the world: Marlon Wayans, Katt Williams, Dave Chappelle.

But the one special I feel didn’t get the credit it deserved after it dropped, was Chris Rock’s “Tambourine.”

More than likely, this was because the special was filled with societal accuracies the public didn’t want to hear.

And that’s ok.

But I know a great deal of men appreciated that special; Chris Rock was more open and honest about his experiences as a man than ever before.

Chris Rock’s creative ability to paint a picture for the audience through comedy is other-worldly; a pure God-given talent.

Humorous as this special was, Rock also creates an underlying ominous, dire portrait of the position men are in, in America.

Those who have been through what he has been through understood his pain.

Let’s dive into the two biggest points that resonated the most.


Women, Children, and Dogs are Loved Unconditionally

Fifty-eight minutes and thirty-eight seconds into the special, Chris Rock “jokes” that men are conditionally loved based off what they can provide for the relationship.

He continues by saying looks are the first thing that a man’s friends want to know about a woman.

However, a woman and her friends will instantly ask the age-old question, “So? What do you do?”

Society has changed to the point where women are more empowered than ever before professionally and yet men are looked to, as Chris Rock put it “to facilitate a dream.”

High Value Men are tired of this line of thinking.

This isn’t the 1950s.

Specifically, for African-Americans, women make approximately 20 dollars less than men a week; however, men are insulted for looking for a partner in a woman.

Support is seen as weakness for some reason.

The figures for median salaries by race and gender were included in a previous blog, “The Reconditioning of African-American Society.”

The second aspect of this segment that I PRAYED Chris Rock went into more detail on was this country’s unhealthy obsession over animals.


It’s downright SICKENING.

We go out of our way to look after everything. . .except people


“Oh Eric, you’re just exaggerating, America still values human beings over animals”

Oh. . .Really?!

About a month ago there was a news story that broke regarding the death of a dog that passed away in the overhead compartment of a United Airline flight.

The incident prompted shock and outrage, so much so that Senator of Louisiana, demanded an explanation for rise of animal deaths (18 of the 24 animal deaths occurred with United), and even went on CNN to publicize the creation of a bill for better animal rights.

This same Senator has not once spoken out about police brutality.

Or passing a bill for more gun control.

This “joke” served to illustrate to me, man’s place in American society.

Below everything else.




No question this was the most important part of the special for any man to hear.

My parents divorced at a young age and I have lived with both my mom and dad, experiencing the blended family life.

My father has told me court stories, that was eerily similar to the story Chris Rock told.

The embarrassment that comes with having to “prove” your ability as a father to total strangers.

You see my take on this is this: your ability as a spouse and your ability as a father, do not go hand in hand.

Chris Rock was a terrible husband, he even admitted it himself; he was entitled, he was self-absorbed, and he cheated.

But he, nor any other man should have to set out to prove he is worthy to spend time with his own kids, if he has no history of abuse or neglect.

Moreover, a union that was once centered on valuing one another’s resources becomes a competition of “who does the most?”

I’ve heard pastors refer to divorce as an ‘eternal death’; a funeral of a relationship that gets revisited every time you see that person.


Then finally, finances. . .

The insurmountable will that is woman empowerment suddenly dissipates at the chance to chase “the bag.”

Don’t believe me?

Just look up any ShadeRoom or WordStar post on Instagram the next time a celebrity couple divorces.

You know for once, I’d love to see women relish in the idea of progression in these circumstances; and no, I’m not talking about the women leaving situations where the man doesn’t provide for his children.

You could argue after a divorce is when both parent should cooperate even more.

But no.

A space is created where the man is set up to lose everything.



“It’s hard being a woman, but there’s a coldness you have to accept when you’re a man” – Chris Rock

There is an element of ruthlessness you must possess, in order to thrive as a man in this country.

The fact that Chris Rock was able to preach that lesson, while finding the hilarity in it, is an amazing feat.

Sadly, that feat can only fit in a one-hour special.

After that, it’s just not funny anymore.


Weather Your Storm, Maintain Inner Reign -E

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