Background – Finding Something Worth the Adversity
I recently began reading a popular book that has been circulating around the “manosphere” called “The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck”, by Mark Manson.
From the very beginning , the book makes three clear distinctions about the term “Not Giving a F*ck.”
- Not giving a f*ck and indifference are two different things
- Whether you realize it or not, you will always give a f*ck about SOMETHING
- Find something to give a f*ck about, that’s more important than the adversity associated with it
That last bullet point is very important, which will be the premise of this blog.
Mason states our problem as human beings, stems from the insurmountable amount of pressure we put on ourselves to succeed, and because of that we wind up in this perpetual state of thinking we are losers, and not good enough, and then we begin to become trapped by our own misery.
When in fact, we should just accept the that life isn’t always going to perfect.
Life isn’t always going to go the way we plan.
Adversity should be expected for anything worth, as Mason puts it, “Giving a F*ck about.”
Mason continues to say that, we think self-improvement and success are synonymous.
Moreover, the author states our biggest problem is that we think we can become important and life-changing, while also avoiding being seen as a joke or an embarrassment.
People become risk averse because of failure and what other people think of them.
You CANNOT play both sides of the coin.
Have you seen the comic strip with the children making fun of the old couple with the mule?
That’s life in a nutshell.
It’s easy to point and criticize others while achieving NOTHING; that takes minimal effort.
Be daring in the things you love to do.
I haven’t finished the book yet and I don’t want to spoil it all, but I wanted to share that portion with you.
Despise the What Ifs – Attack Life
My best friend Jason recently accepted a position in Atlanta.
I was talking to him over the phone, reveling in our success as we both transitioned into new roles this year.
We spoke about the people we knew that weren’t reaching the upward mobility they were striving for.
“I know so many people who get discourage when they have a dry spell without an interview,” I began as I was going into full rant mode.
“I hear people say they don’t feel like updating their resume, or only apply when they’re in the mood”
Jason replied saying, “I just don’t get it, I mean I understand the mindset of complacency but I just have that hunger to obtain more.”
Everyone wants success, but not everyone is willing to pay the toll to attain it.
As I mentioned in the beginning, detailing Mason’s 3rd bullet point, if something is worth attaining, if something is worth giving a f*ck about, you should understand you are going to face adversity, you are going to fail, and often times you are going to look like a fool.
But that’s the price you have to pay.
“Attack Life, It’s Going to Kill You Anyway.”
If finding the woman of my dreams is important to me, that means I’m going to have go through a lot of shitty people, I’m going to have to be told “no” multiple times, I’m going to be rejected, I’m going to be laughed at, picked on, and judged.
But it’s worth it. I have to adapt. Play to my strengths, become more High Value, work on openers, learn to weed out people not for me.
Getting the job of my dreams is important to me. That means I’m going to have dry spells, I’m going to receive reject letters that say, “we deeply regret to inform you, we’ll be going in a different direction.”
But it’s worth it. I have to work on my resume constantly, practice responses in the mirror, check my body language, because I need to advance for my son, for my family, for the lineage.
ANYTHING worth having is difficult to grasp.
A lot of people talk, and judge, and watch time pass. . .because it’s easy and takes little effort.
Which is why nothing comes from those actions.
You must learn to despise the “what ifs” in life.
I tell people all the time:
At the end of the day, I’d rather be saying “ole well” than “what if.”
Failure is only TRULY failure, when you choose to give up.
I have the attitude that nothing in life is just going to be GIVEN to me.
When I see something or someone I want. I go after it, and learn from the experience.
You know how many rejections messages I have received? How many bad interviews I’ve had?
I learned from those failures to be a more viable candidate.
I learned from failure when it came to dealing with women.
I have room for improvement, but I am more successful than ever before because I developed my strengths through experiencing failure.
“Deserve”, “Entitlement”. . . get those out your lexicon right now.
It’s all about what is “EARNED”.
Success and Lessons. . . that’s all there is to life.
GET TO WORK!!!!
Weather Your Storm, Maintain Inner Reign -E