Why People Choose Not to Heal

The pandemic has forced all of us indoors and I have noticed a concerted effort to get people to tend to their mental health.

Since 2020, there have been a fair share of stress inducers in our environment.  From financial hardships, increased medical concerns, loss of loved ones, politics, and even cabin fever from extended isolation.

There are studies that show, the effects from COVID-19 have been so bad, that one in every six Americans entered therapy for the very first time.

Mental health has become a buzzword of sorts, with public figures like Charlemagne the God endorsing the act of seeking help. I get the intent, but it just feels so. . .commercial.

Like those Smokey the Bear advertisements to prevent forest fires.

I’m not here to downplay it. I would certainly want the people I care about to seek help, before a problem gets out of hand.

But with this blog, I want to take a different approach to briefly explain the reason I believe most people don’t seek help.

I believe, like most things, it comes down to a sense of identity.

We as humans have a tendency to really OWN our struggles.

The irony is this strength may very well be where our weakness lies.

We internalize our pain so much, that we ingratiate ourselves to others; we wear our shortfalls like a badge of honor for positive reaction.

We practically scream out “LOOK AT ME.” Look at how much I can endure. Look at how much I have suffered.

We own our struggles so much, it no longer exists as a temporary occurrence in our journey through life.

It becomes who we are. It becomes what we identify as.

So much so, that the prospect of healing becomes scary.  You start to wonder, who you would be if you healed?

The perfect example of this exists within the community I obviously hold near and dear to my heart: the black community.

We seemingly uplift toxic interactions with one another, through the illusion of “being strong.” Strength over healing.

I get that everyone has experienced a past, often times a painful one.  But new beginnings don’t have to include a thesis on who you don’t need and what you can do on your own.

Reviewing relationships as an example, I recall in my single days, dating was a game of who could show the most lack of engagement; being disinterested was a sign of independence, in an arena that calls for people to come together.

This further engenders the land of sub posts and tweets we live in.  Filled with: “This is just who I am,” “take it or leave it” or my personal favorite “imagine fumbling me.”

Generational curses cannot be broken if we continue down this path.

But I wrote this to say, hey look. . .I get it.

Its easier to proceed throughout life pitting yourself against the world, with a chip on your shoulder.

Identity and ego make the world go ‘round and we carry out emotional scars with pride, right?

The irony is this strength may very well be where our weakness lies.

Weather Your Storm, Maintain Inner Reign -E.

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