Time Served

The concept of time in relationships has always fascinated me.

How long does it take before you know someone is . . . the ONE? How many months should pass before certain milestones occur?

How long before you should introduce them to your parents? How long before a person should propose?

How much time should pass before two individuals get married?

The basis of all these questions is normally. . .how much time does it take to truly KNOW someone?


The consensus is, the more time you spend with a person, the more knowledge you have to make an informed decision, thus being able to answer the above questions.

But I believe that is only true to an extent.

Obviously, you cannot know a person in a couple of weeks, but a great deal of us can admit we have wasted YEARS on people only for it to not end in “happily ever after.”

I wanted to write this blog because honestly, I hate the notion that “time served” leads to successful relationships, because that’s not really the case.

HOW you use that time, and what you do to vet a person is what’s most important.

You use “time served” with someone as a crutch, to justify that a person is good for you, simply because they’ve been around for a while.

You stick to make-believe timelines for when you think monumental events are supposed to occur. . .



Most likely from what you’ve seen and heard other people do: either from social media or from what your uncle, cousin, sister, or auntie did.


And then when things don’t work out, you’re left scratching your head asking why?

I can tell you why. . .

Was there quality in the time spent together?

Substance? Intentionality?

Surface level activities can only mask true intentions, but for so long.

It’s just better in the long run to date with a purpose.

Dating where true intentions reveal themselves sooner rather than later, is the key to society taking relationships seriously again.

Questions about favorite colors, foods and positions fade fast when a year and a half later you find out a person isn’t dependable.

Physical appearance goes out the window real fast when you find out a person is a flight risk at the first sign of trouble.

High Value Men and Women must take a business-like approach to relationships.

Currently, grown-ass men and women are out here treating relationships like Netflix trial subscriptions.

Your intentions must match mine, and I don’t have a second to waste on you if they don’t.

So no longer will you have to wonder if a sufficient amount of time passed before the next phase occurs.

*SIGH* 3 weeks in. . .and you’ve already been played.


The alignment of intentions will let you know whether the relationship can handle a major step. . .

. . .or if you should even be together at all.

This is one of the biggest hurdles to overcome if you have not taken the time to not only know yourself, but to hold yourself to those standards.

In my previous blog I wrote about the concept of what you accept becoming your standard, because this is the biggest time waster in relationships today.

Men and women being oblivious to the red flags being waved point-blank in front of their faces.

Praying and hoping that one day their prospective partner will someday be everything they hoped and dreamed.

When all along that person was treating you like an afterthought.

Just someone to pass the time with.

Another notch on their belt.

A fill-in on their roster spot.

If you don’t have anything to stand on, then you are at the mercy of whomever you are dealing with.

This will leave you in a despairing state; leading only to an endless cycle of disappointment.

Let’s stop this trend and start winning at relationships again.


Weather Your Storm, Maintain Inner Reign -E

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