Let’s take this blog to a dark place for a week.
I sit back and observe how some of my peers handle conflict.
Honestly, it’s quite hilarious.
Posting subliminal threats on social media to those who wrong them.
Others who co-sign on the posts, at worst linking them to any potential repercussion, at best looking like a clown.
That’s not the way war should be waged.
There should be an element of despair in mind, when it comes to conflict.
Concealed intentions only to be revealed by action, not words.
War should be conducted with knowledge of ourselves, and the other party’s behavior.
Victory should be obtained swiftly and completely.
High Value Men and Women understand that the most important thing in life, is to build something meaningful in this world.
To leave something to our lineage that they would be proud of.
Therefore, senseless acts hinder the ability to do that.
I have read many books on the subject of conflict, the most popular being “The Art of War” as well as “The 48 Laws of Power.”
While a show of emotion and force can be needed at times, that cannot be the end all be all.
There is a certain finesse that comes with getting a desired outcome, without wasting resources.
Tsu Szu said it best after all:
“One hundred victories in one hundred battles is not the most skillful.
Subduing the other’s military without battle is the most skillful.”
By all accounts, this is the most successful outcome because of the objective I stated earlier.
That being said, conflict is sometimes unavoidable, so I wanted to give you a couple of points to consider before attempting such endeavors.
If you aren’t willing to take it there. . .
“If you’re good at anticipating the human mind, it leaves nothing to chance.”
As I stated earlier, everything starts with knowledge of yourself.
A serene state of mind will tell you what your strengths and weaknesses are, and when and how you can best strike.
Once you have a handle on that, conceal it.
Subs and idle threats do nothing but give you away.
Your planning and actions should do all the talking, should it come down to it.
The next step is to understand your adversary’s behavior.
A common mistake people make is underestimating the playing field their nemesis is willing to set.
Are you entering an engagement with someone with equal or more to lose than you?
Are you entering a conflict where that person is willing to take it to a place you aren’t willing to go?
I would consider both these questions, especially the latter, before acting on anything.
There is a plethora of examples showing what happens when you don’t observe this rule, most recently the rap beef between Drake and Pusha T.
Pusha T went to a level Drake thought the former would never dip to; Pusha T in his response to Drake’s song “Duppy”, brought up the fact that Drake had a son which he was hiding from the general public.
As a result, Drake was left scrambling, trying to dig up dirt on his opponent with nothing substantial he could use.
What you have is one opponent who was willing it to take it as far as he was willing to go, and another who was simply unprepared.
Conflict is not an area where one can afford to be careless.
A petty person, with deep pockets, isn’t someone I want to go into a legal battle with.
Someone that’s in a boxing gym daily, may not be the smartest person to pick a fight with.
Know your opponent.
Plan accordingly, Plan for every possibility.
Then when the time is right. Dominate.
If you aren’t willing to take it to a certain place, either wait until you can or move on.
The other aspect of conflict that is vital to consider, is the narrative surrounding it.
Let’s take conflict in the workplace for instance.
There are individuals that blindly create a hostile work environment and expect to be seen as a martyr because to the organization isn’t treating them fairly.
Even if this is the case. What are you in position to control?
You aren’t in management, you aren’t in HR, and often there isn’t any piece of evidence to prove your claims.
You are fighting a losing battle.
There are plenty of people in the workplace that feel situations aren’t going in their favor; a boss they feel passed them over for a promotion, or they’re on a the short end of favorites being played.
Professionalism is a must.
Composure must be maintained.
I’ve personally worked with many intelligent and talented individuals lose their jobs because they were seen as the troublemakers, the ones who called HR all the time for no reason.
The company 9 times out of 10 wins that battle.
If you aren’t able to keep your cool, those in position of power will use your emotions against you.
If you can’t control the narrative.
Control what you are able to: your reputation.
Being the bigger person sucks but I guarantee you, you want to be known as a team player than the fire starter.
“Knowing the other and knowing oneself,
In one hundred battles no danger.”
“Knowing my troops can strike, yet not knowing the
The enemy cannot be struck.
This is half of victory.”
No half measures.
No loss of resources.
Does it conflict with being High Value?
If it is unavoidable, are you able to dominate completely?
What aspects of the conflict are you able to control?
Did you plan thoroughly?
If you aren’t asking yourself these questions every time, you’re doing it wrong.
Weather Your Storm, Maintain Inner Reign -E.