My wife and I recently took a trip up to Gatlinburg.
The fiancé of my wife’s friend planned a quick getaway and asked us to come along in a cabin he rented that had some extra bedrooms.
It was one of the more relaxing trips that I could remember.
I remember the night we drove up, we were able to experience the charms of the small mountain town.
They still had their Christmas lights up, a dazzling display on amusement park attractions and ski parks.
The next day we had brunch at a little farmhouse spot and shopped for supplies for dinner in the evening.
We played arcades games they had in the cabin, as well as party games like Taboo and Black Card Revoked.
But the best part about the trip were the conversations with the other couples.
I don’t believe the intention was for this to turn into a couple’s retreat, but somehow, it turned into one.
We all laid up under our significant others, discussing our strengths, our weaknesses, our insecurities, what we wanted to see more of out of our significant other.
It was a very introspective, eye-opening conversation.
I won’t go into specifics, but there was an over-arching question for the men in the room, that stood out to me as these discussions were ongoing:
How does a man know?
How does a man know when he’s willing to expose himself to someone?
To. . .allow himself to be vulnerable, to have such inward-looking conversations?
How does a man know THIS person is the one for him?
He could get hurt.
He could lose half of everything.
Set himself back for years.
How does he know?
Well, my first piece of advice would be to read “The High Value Woman,” these would be the attributes a man would want in his partner if he was single and looking for a wife.
But more importantly, its vital to note that it starts from within for men.
No matter how amazing a woman is: dime, giving next level head, cooking, cleaning, staying up to play 2K with him Saturday night, then waking up to sing on the choir on Sundays.
It’s just as the saying goes, “The only way to keep a man, is for him to want to be kept.”
A man just has to be at the point where, the allure of “what else is out there” doesn’t keep him up at night.
When that moment of realization comes, varies from man to man.
Some may never reach that point.
Don’t be stressed, like Taraji in most romantic movies.
Some men think they’ve reached that point but run back out to play the field anyway.
I’ve written many times about my experiences in “the game.”
The feeling of proving yourself time and time again.
Those Friday and Saturday nights when you’re single; you get off work and make that Wendy’s run.
You take a quick nap, shower, put on your finest clothes, pre-game, and hit the streets like football players hit the field to play.
Wallflowers posted up wishing they had the juice, women out here finessing for drinks and VIP chances, and you out there running your best game.
But even Tom Brady has to hang his jersey in the rafters one day.
The game gets tired.
The scene. . . it is what it is. . . and that’s always going to be the scene.
Every holiday, every CIAA, every All-Star Weekend.
At some point, you exhaust what singleness embodies, and you just want to be kept.
You want to be kept by a woman who is also tired of the game.
A woman who you can grow with, mature with, build with.
“The only way to keep a man, is for him to want to be kept.”
But the beauty of marriage can never be realized, if a man keeps thinking the grass is greener somewhere else.
Love, especially marriage, is a risk.
Men are known to play all the negatives out in their minds, and I haven’t been shy in the past stating all the things a man has to lose.
But a man should ask himself if he is even in a position to shoulder the responsibilities?
No one is perfect.
Men and women are striving to be the best version of themselves, to be High Value.
But if a man doesn’t have the mindset of wanting to be kept, he shouldn’t even waste his time.
A man is going to know when he wants to be kept.
And a woman is going to know as well, when a man is displaying actions that he wants to be kept.
My wife and I drove home that Sunday.
I noticed families pulling over to watch the clear Smoky Mountain streams.
Oh, so crystal clear.
Just like my frame of mind, of where I should be in life.
Weather Your Storm, Maintain Inner Reign -E.